When I researched the diet industry can you imagine my surprise when I read that up to 95% of people regain the weight that they lose on a diet or restricted eating plan.
I knew through my own individual experiences that dieting did not work long term with weight loss, as in my case I regained not only the weight that I lost, but always a bit more too.
My lowest point was being stood on a pair of weighing scales in my GP surgery being “told off” for reaching nearly 22 stones.
I knew on that humiliating day that something had to change and that I needed to choose my health
above everything else as my number one priority.
So, try to imagine my surprise and disappointment after reaching 15.5 stones and over 6 stones in weight loss, I found that I did not like myself one bit more?
In fact, the total opposite was true, I stood in front of the mirror criticising myself even more, I was picking fault in everything that I saw reflecting back at me.
At my heaviest weight I incorrectly assumed that losing weight was the answer to all of my problems and by losing the weight I would automatically start loving myself.
This moment of realisation is when my real journey began, a friend at work recommended a book called “you can heal your life” by Louise Hay.
This book resonated with me, I hated and avoided confrontation at any costs and any uncomfortable emotions such as hurt, anger, fear, insecurities were all swallowed down by binge eating.
I would numb the negative feelings by filling that empty void of low self-worth by binge eating vast amounts of extremely sweet foods. It did not matter how much sweet food I consumed I was never full, and it was never enough; I would have heart palpitations from all the sugar, I would collapse exhausted from a binge and feel “hung over” the next day.
Because I was not eating for hunger my appetite was endless.
My energy levels and mood were so low in the days that followed a big binge session. Then came the shame, which made me isolate myself from others and lose even more confidence in myself. And so that negative cycle continued for many years, in between times I would try a diet, lose weight, and then go back to the binges as a coping mechanism for difficult emotions.
Once I read the book “You can heal your life” I realised that in dealing with my Food Addiction I needed to take a holistic approach to tackling my demons with food. Diets and food restriction does nothing to deal with low self- worth or any emotions, they are just a plan of what we should and should not eat.
I began my holistic journey by trying Reiki for the first time, I then began to meditate daily, I scheduled time to exercise, and tackled my Food Addiction by soothing my physical, mental, spiritual, and nutritional needs.
All these experiences lead me to feel calmer and squashed the urges to binge eat.
Hence my Step by Step with Sarah-Jane support group brand quote. “Losing weight permanently has nothing to do with how you look, but everything to do with how you feel.”
I never want anyone to feel as ashamed, lonely, isolated and like the only person who is addicted to food, there are so many of us out there that are eating our feelings and emotions, it never gets discussed in a public arena and I will continue to be open about my Food Addiction to break the stigma surrounding it.
Does this sound like you? Are you an emotional eater? If this resonates with you then start by setting boundaries to protect yourself from painful emotions and find your voice, your opinions and feelings matter just as much as anyone else’s.